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Yesterday, Kim and I went to her grandfather's 90th birthday party, which was in fact something of a family reunion filled (as usual) with people squinting at each other thinking, "Do I know her?" Not long after getting there, I was chatting with a sixteen year old cousin when we were interrupted by a middle aged relative. She said a few words to him, and then looked at me and asked, "So, is this one of your friends?"
I've gotten surprisingly much of that recently. A week or two ago, I was carded when buying wine at the grocery store. And when I saw Professor Su at a Harvey Mudd event not long ago he exclaimed that I looked younger than I had when I was in his class. I'm torn as to what to think of it. On the one hand, it's pleasant to know that I haven't lost that youthful glow. But on the other, there's always a part of me that thinks, "Hey now! I've got a doctorate in string theory and I'm a professor of physics. Don't I get a little respect?" I guess I'm a bit more attached to that whole "social status" thing than I like to admit. (I was also bit too pleased when I saw the New York Times survey listing the highest status occupations: 1. Doctor, 2. Lawyer, 3. Physicist/Astronomer. I seem to be a little vain after all.)
One of the most interesting aspects of the experience yesterday, though, is the way in which that older relative broke into our conversation. She broke in right in the middle of a sentence, as if her desire to say hello was obviously more important than anything two sixteen-year-olds might be talking about. I don't recall being particularly aware of that behavior when I was younger, but I'm willing to believe that it's common. And that bugs me. I've always felt that as much as possible, kids should be treated just like any other person. As it was, I felt distinctly like I was being treated as an inferior. (The interrupting relative seemed a bit contrite when I introduced myself, but for me that just underscored how little she had respected our conversation before she knew I was an adult.)
On the other hand, there are situations where a clear difference in age and experience is pretty important. My youthful look leaves me uncertain that my students will automatically take me seriously, for example. I'm still working on how to strike the right balance there.
I've gotten surprisingly much of that recently. A week or two ago, I was carded when buying wine at the grocery store. And when I saw Professor Su at a Harvey Mudd event not long ago he exclaimed that I looked younger than I had when I was in his class. I'm torn as to what to think of it. On the one hand, it's pleasant to know that I haven't lost that youthful glow. But on the other, there's always a part of me that thinks, "Hey now! I've got a doctorate in string theory and I'm a professor of physics. Don't I get a little respect?" I guess I'm a bit more attached to that whole "social status" thing than I like to admit. (I was also bit too pleased when I saw the New York Times survey listing the highest status occupations: 1. Doctor, 2. Lawyer, 3. Physicist/Astronomer. I seem to be a little vain after all.)
One of the most interesting aspects of the experience yesterday, though, is the way in which that older relative broke into our conversation. She broke in right in the middle of a sentence, as if her desire to say hello was obviously more important than anything two sixteen-year-olds might be talking about. I don't recall being particularly aware of that behavior when I was younger, but I'm willing to believe that it's common. And that bugs me. I've always felt that as much as possible, kids should be treated just like any other person. As it was, I felt distinctly like I was being treated as an inferior. (The interrupting relative seemed a bit contrite when I introduced myself, but for me that just underscored how little she had respected our conversation before she knew I was an adult.)
On the other hand, there are situations where a clear difference in age and experience is pretty important. My youthful look leaves me uncertain that my students will automatically take me seriously, for example. I'm still working on how to strike the right balance there.
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I have this too
The really funny thing is that as a teenager, people always thought I was older than I was. When I was 15, store clerks started offering me credit cards. In my summer jobs, I'd regularly be invited to go to with the guys to bars after work. And during the summer I spent at Chambana, everyone just assumed I was a grad student. I wonder why the change...
And ukelele, dear, you _are_ a child who hasn't even reached her 4th decade, yet, so nyah! :)
--Itai