Read before you sign

[steuard]

I went to the store today to get a new box of (generic) Sudafed. As usual, I had to jump through hoops to buy it since pseudoephedrine can be used to make meth. After I showed my driver's license, the pharmacist asked me to sign a statement about not misrepresenting my identity or using it for anything illegal. All standard stuff these days.

Now, one of my "endearing quirks" is that I do my best to at least skim everything before I sign my name to it. To add some humor to something that probably looks awfully pedantic, I often mutter "...agree to sell my immortal soul..." as I read. To my delight, the pharmacist today replied, "Oh, you saw that? I thought we had it in a small enough font that nobody would notice!"

I laughed and signed my name, and she rang up my purchase. "Five seventy-three," she said. And then, "Souls sure have gotten cheap these days."

"Yeah, soul-inflation has really been brutal lately," I said. We smiled, I thanked her, and I headed home.

It's rare for someone to play along, especially that much. Good stuff!

Comments

[coldtortuga.livejournal.com]

Why are those statements always a ridiculous jumble of legalese? They need to be rephrased for practical use:

I will not convert Sudafed into meth.
I will not sell meth to little kids.
I have not actually read the following jumble of legalese, and I am not a lawyer so it is unlikely I would actually form a correct understanding of its consequences, but in the event that it actually means the same thing..."

Seriously, WTF. I should write a computer program that converts statements from intuitionistic logic encoded in sexprs into English, and then go around forcing lawyers to sign contracts that are written in Scheme (the logical statements plus the program to convert to English). Teach those f**ckers a lesson in the importance of communication skills.